So you want to buy a house?

It seems like a great idea, right? No more giving someone else your hard-earned cash, no more management companies, landlords and dish disposals that break once a month. No more shitty appliances and security deposits and loud upstairs neighbors.
Let's be honest, for the most part, renting sucks. Eventually, it becomes time to buy a house. Are you ready? Even if you think you are, you're probably not. I would argue that no first time homebuyer is ever completely ready.
The Boy Next Door and I have finally decided to take the plunge and buy a house. We weren't sure if we were ready, but we both knew that we were ready to stop putting our money into someone else's bank account and start putting our money back into our own pockets. So we started house hunting. It was the 3rd house we looked at...and we fell in love. It all happened so fast, a whirlwind of excitement and insanity all at once. At first everything was smooth sailing, but 3 weeks in, we started to hit some speed bumps, and then some pot holes and then eventually a full on road block. We will finally close on our house in 2 days, but it has been a long and stressful road. We have learned a lot from this experience, so I have decided that I should pass my wisdom on to whomever reads this (I'm guessing no one), in case you too, gentle reader, are thinking of committing to 30 years of debt, er, purchasing a home. So here are the things your real estate agent/mortgage processor/friends who already own homes won't tell you.
1) Get your shit together. Not personally, I mean paper-wise. Get 2 years of tax returns, 2 years of W-2s, 3 months of paystubs, copies of grad school or college transcripts, and make copies of EVERYTHING. Don't be stupid (like me) and give the bank originals of anything. They lose shit. And they WILL call you 3 days before closing and ask for another copy of a W-2 that they swear they never received.
2) Be prepared to write letters. The loan underwriters will want to know everything about you short of your bra size. They'll want to know why you have a P.O. box that you never use, why you you have had more than one credit inquiry in the last 6 months, and why you worked a job for only 3 weeks.
3) DO NOT BORROW MONEY. The first thing to do is to find out EXACTLY how much money you will need at the table to close. If you must borrow money, try to get it from one person (immediate family only), with a gift letter, and make sure its in your account at least a month before you're supposed to close. Do not let the bank see ANYTHING with the word "loan" on it (which means even if you have every intention of paying your mom back, in the lender's eyes, it must be a gift.) Do not apply for any loans (no matter what they are for)if you're within 6 months of buying a house. If your lender even thinks you're using borrowed money for your down payment, they can (and will) dump you. It would take too long to explain what happened to us with this, but trust me on this one.
4) Get a home inspection. Yes its optional and yes it costs $400 bucks, but do it. The inspection can reveal problems with the house (even brand new houses) that could cost you thousands of dollars down the road. Plus, if something comes up in the inspection, you can ask the seller to fix it, or get a credit off the sales price to fix it yourself. Get a termite inspection too while you're at it. Trust me, you'll save yourself a lot of grief.
5) Be a pain in the ass. Stay on top of everyone. Call your real estate agent every day just to "check in." Call your mortgage lender every day to check interest rates (you will have to lock in an interest rate at least 4 days before you close). Ask a TON of questions. These people are working for you and it's their job, so no question is too small or too stupid. Be up front with your agent. If you want your hand held, tell them. And ALWAYS make sure you run ANYTHING you submit to your lender by your agent first. They're on your side and they know the ropes and can save you a lot of BS. Again, you'll have to trust me on this one.
6) Read the fine print. Its always a good idea to have someone (a lawyer, a friend who is an underwriter, your dad) look over the papers before you sign. Just in case.

Thats the best advice I can give at this point. If you've actually read this whole thing, woo hoo! Your reward will be to see the first pictures of my new house!
Happy Home Buying!

Divided We Fall

I've been a democrat since the day I signed my first voter registration packet. At the time, I didn't even know why I wanted to be a democrat, I just knew it would piss my dad off.
Over the years I have come to accept the disorganization, the lack of a cohesive ideology and the obvious lack of money in the Democratic party. I think we as Democrats, have learned to kind of embrace our mishaps and focus on our passion. But this primary is really starting to bother me, in the way that we are so hesitant to throw our weight behind ONE candidiate. Look folks, at this point, Hillary isn't going to win the nomination. She would need a pretty decently sized miracle at this point. I'm not saying I like her or I don't, I'm just stating facts. It aint gonna happen.
So why does she refuse to admit defeat? I understand fighting until the bitter end in most cases. But more and more I'm beginning to feel like she's hurting the party more than she's helping. Yes, we're all fighting for democracy (whatever that even MEANS these days) and we all want to see the Republicans licking their wounds on Election Day, so why, WHY do we have to continue to fight each other instead of our opponents?? Seriously, Democrats. For once can't we all just get along? Can't we put the tiny minute differences in our candidates aside and stand behind whoever is poised to win? Whoever we will in a matter of months put all of our faith in to beat McCain? It seems to me that the longer Hillary fights, the longer she continues to create a rift in the party, and the less time is spent figuring out how we (as a team) can kick some Republican ass.
Bottom line: McCain has been poised to take on Barack for months now. He's got loads of dirt, campaign ads and speeches just waiting to be unleashed. And hes going to unleash them just as soon as Barack is declared the winner and all of the HIllary supporters are angry, bitter and ripe to hear what McCain has to say. Right now, hes WAY ahead of the game.
Republicans are tricky folk, you know. They all have their own self-interest at heart, no doubt. But every election, they somehow manage to do the one thing together (as a party) that we can't: stand behind a single candidiate.
Democrats, we are our own worst enemy. And as much as it pains me to say, I believe that the Republican party has a much better uinderstanding of compromise than we do. For them, its not about the little details that establish one candidiate from the next. Its about standing behind the Republican candidiate best suited to win. Its not about the person, its about the PARTY.
And for a group of people who claim to be fighting for every man and the greater good we sure do get hung up on our own personal preferences.
Every minute we spend fighting each other, makes us weaker as a party. Every close race, every second of indecision, every disagreement over inconsequentail issues like whether somebody voted for the war or didn't vote for the war (P.S. We're already IN the war. Your vote won't change that now). We just keep digging ourselves a bigger hole to climb out of in the General Election.
And trust me, Republicans couldn't be happier about that.

Reality: The Leading Cause of Stress

Today I went to the doctor for the first time since I graduated from grad school and my insurance ran out (circa August 2006). So with my shiny new insurance card in hand, I patiently waited in the sweltering (and completely chaotic) waiting room. Leave it to me to pick the day before the entire office moves to another location for my first appointment.
When the nurse finally calls me to the scale, I habitually strip off as much clothing as I can and close my eyes while she tinkers with the weights.
And then, what is usually my favorite part of a doctor's visit turns out to be the crappiest: I have high blood pressure. Bizarrely high. Not the systolic pressure though, the diastolic, which is the pressure in your heart while its not contracting. Sweet. She does my right arm twice and then my left-just to be sure.
Then as she leaves me sitting there in a room that is at LEAST 107 degrees, I do myself even worse by freaking out over the fact that I am being placed into a category typically reserved for the over 65 crowd. (I am suddenly reminded of the day I was diagnosed with arthritis in my knees at the age of 20...and my first colonoscopy, which occurred at 25.) I try to relax on the paper covered bed, putting my hands over my head and stretching, realizing I have somehow forgotten to put deodorant on. So far, I'm feeling stellar.

For the next 40 minutes, as I wait for the doctor to deliver me what I;m certain will be a death sentence, I wonder how in the hell this high blood pressure came to be. I don't eat meat, haven't touched a fast food french fry in over 2 years, pass on all things with trans fats and high fructose corn syrup, exercise, get regular massages, don't put salt on anything....
And then it occurs to me that I could be stressed out. But I don't FEEL stressed out. And then I think about my "generation." I live in a city where more than a person a day is killed, to start. On top of that, there's the almost guarantee that we will get the shit end of the Social Security stick; global warming and the 627 ways its killing us; a war that we can't even pay for (but don't worry, our grandkids will); the lack of any sensible, articulate, honest AND viable candidate for President; the shrinking middle class (which most of us were planning to be members of) and the hundreds of other epidemics, issues and crises we hear about every day. NO WONDER we're so damn stressed! By the time we reach 65, those of us who aren't dead will be even more stressed at the realization that we don't have enough money to go on vacation, let alone retire.

I'm not saying that these issues aren't important-dire, even. But at the rate we're going, we're all going to be so stressed out that there isn't going to be anyone left capable to fix any of these problems.

I don't know about you, but I'm not about to spend the rest of my life on prescription medicine because I'm too overwhelmed to find any serenity in this world.
I'm going to take a bubble bath and eat a popsicle.

Just as soon as I finish setting up my IRA.

...about that Boy Next Door

I suck. I started a blog, posted twice and then took two years off. Which I can probably attribute to the fact that I finished grad school. And got a job. And a boy next door. Whatever that even means. The internet is a wealth of information (mostly useless retail crap, mind numbing games and good porn) so I turned to the Bible of the Internet, wikipedia, to see if this boy I love is of the "next door" variety.
Here's wiki's definition:

The boy next door is often invoked in American contexts to indicate wholesome, unassuming, or "average" masculinity.
Wholesome? He does love all things whole wheat and organic. I'm not sure what constitutes "average" masculinity, but for me it means he takes out the trash, lets me squeeze the feeling out of his arms on an airplane, and begrudgingly sits through an episode of the Hills.

He is a young man who is just discovering his physical and spiritual strengths, and still maintains an innocent wonder about them.
I'm pretty sure that he knows his physical strength, considering he just had surgery for tearing something in his shoulder while attempting to launch the cat. (FYI: Mr. Puss is affectionately the size of a tank). But as much as I love the guy, I am hesitant to use the word "innocent" to describe him. Even when its in reference to his sense of wonder.

The boy next door may have a sidekick who shows somewhat less promise than the boy next door; this will serve to heighten his appeal by contrast.
His sidekick is a cat. I would argue that Mr. P heightens his appeal the same way a cute puppy does for a random guy walking said dog down the street.

When the boy next door is a sidekick himself, he is often employed to contrast his fresh-faced innocence against the more world wise view of the protagonist. In this scenario, he will often do something well-intentioned but daring which puts him at risk, forcing the protagonist into a course of action to save him.
In this scenario, I am the protagonist.

He is the sweet boy the protagonist sees everyday, a really great friend, or the perfect boy to bring home to her parents.
Check. Check. Half-check (my siblings adore him and they're a much tougher crowd).

He is often a virgin.
In 1997, maybe


Obviously, he's not a certifiable "boy next door." But then again, I'm not a "window shopper." I have the credit card statements to prove it.
But I wouldn't have it any other way. That real boy next door sounds like a chump. And I'm too old to be breaking in virgins.

Here I am again...not doing work. Its Saturday though, so I am excusing myself. I wanted to go see a movie this afternoon but its so shitty outside that I decided I will order a pizza and watch a movie that I've already seen a billion times instead. In my pjs. Which is what I've been wearing all day anyways.
I have spent all afternoon on okcupid.com....(thanks a lot, jill). Apparently, it is some cool friendster-like meet people website. I typically hate those things but Jill said it was cool and Keeza is on it too, and we all know how I hate being out of the loop....so I joined and then it stole my afternoon. They have all those cool tests (today i learned that I am a "Window Shopper" who should look for "The Boy Next Door"), its the same people that did spark.com
Anyhow, I have zero intention of meeting any of these people. So I will just waste more time that I don't really have taking online tests and looking for pictures of hot guys.
And then when I'm done with this, I will go check out the LOST website and see if I can find some good spoilers for nex week's episode....another thanks to Jill. I am TOTALLY obsessed!
My other new project is helping my sister Amanda find a college. Applying is so different from when I went to college...and it wasn't even that long ago. I remember typing my applications on an ass old typewriter, she's doing them all online. Anyhow, shes interested in culinary school and shes looking here in Philly, which makes me sooo happy. I would LOOVE to have at least a piece of my family closer to me. And all of her wardrobe.

A New Art

I have officially discovered the ultimate procrastination tool-a blog. I'll never finish grad school now. I dunno why I took so long to start one. I guess becuase I was too busy reading everyone else's and dicking around on instant messenger. And probably drinking too. I am betting this will be better than trying to balance my journal on my lap in bed while my cat crawls all over me. Yep. Better already (he sleeps behind the computer).
Ok, so...woooo! a blog! I've run out of things to write already.
This semester is awesome! Grad school finally got fun. I am actually enjoying the work (?), which is definitely a new thing for me. Still working a couple days a week at the New Deck, you know, just to rub some extra salt in my wounds and kick my self esteem in the ass. Its funny how much I love and hate that place at the same time. But I will save bitching about the New Deck for another post. I finally got an internship with the Philadelphia Industrial Development Corporation. I work down at the Navy Yard in an old mansion with a haunted third floor, and I stare at enormous Navy ships all day. I didn't realize how big those things really were until until I was standing next to one and saw that the dock cleat used to tie up the ship is as long as me and the ropes are as thick as my thighs.

My nephew, Nathan, just turned 6 months old, and is the most adorable thing in the world. He's at that age where he's developing an actual personality and its hilarious to watch. I took him to the mall last weekend to buy him some new shoes (itty bitty nikes) and had a painc attack thinking someone from high school would see me and think he was mine. I love the bugger to death, but I am DEFINITELY not ready for kids. I can barely feed and dress myself most days.
<----SO CUTE, isn't he?!?!?
I am totally obsessed with him so I'll try to keep the adoring aunt babble to a minimum.

Considering I have a paper and a project due tomorrow, I think I have procrastinated enough (at least in this venue) for now.
And if you've actually read this far, I bet you're procrastinating too.....