On Accountability

I started this blog to force myself to be accountable. I knew that I would need more than moral support to be successful at this whole health/fitness/weight loss venture that I've been on. So I decided to blog. Maybe if people were reading and keeping up with me, then I would be less inclined to slack off. But part of people reading requires me to actually WRITE, which I haven't.
In fact, I have completely dropped the ball on this. And it shows. I just put my BodyBugg back on after having it off for over 3 days, I haven't logged food in over a week and I have ditched my cardio kick and am back on the 30 Day Shred.
Now, to be fair, I have had a LOT going on in my personal life and at work. I got the job I have been interviewing for (YAY!) and am now rushing to tie up as many loose ends here as I can before Feb. 13th. In addition, poor Mr. Puss has been super sick, which has put a great deal of stress on us at home. And (perhaps as a result) I've been drinking more. Not a lot more, but more than I was before the New Year.

But it's not excuse. I committed to this and have completely bailed on my commitment. For that, I apologize to the 5 of you who actually read this. These next few weeks are going to be a little crazy, but I'm dragging myself back on the wagon anyway. Which also means dragging myself back on the scale (and no, I did not get a new one, and last I checked, this one still hates me).

I think what bothers me the most about all of this is that I started this blog for me first and foremost. I'm reading everyone else's blogs and being supportive of their goals and acheivements and, at the same time, have completely ignored my own.

So, dear readers, I am dusting myself off and starting again. Tomorrow I will post where I'm at weight-wise, but I'd say that I am probably only down about 10 pounds from my starting weight, even though at one point, I was down 20. I am totally disappointed by this, but won't linger on it after I'm done this post.

"and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started, and know the place for the first time"

In Which I Reflect Upon the Past Three Months

(Reflection. Get it?)








My Body Bugg web subscription expired today, which means its been three months since I started this, er, journey (?). It doesn't feel like it's been that long at all, but I thought I would take this post to reflect on the changes and progress I have made.

* I've lost 18 (or so-depending on which day you ask my stupid scale) pounds. I'm pretty far off my two pounds a week goal. Instead, I have been averaging about half a pound per week, sometimes a pound. It's not much, but its really sustainable at this rate, so I will just need to suck it up and be patient. I just watched the season finale of the Biggest Loser and compared to their 75, 80, 100 plus pounds lost, 18 looks and sounds pretty measly.Of course if I had the time and the resources to work out 4 hours a day with a trainer, I would probably be pretty smokin hot in 3 months, too. But alas, I have this whole JOB thing, and HOUSE thing and all the LAME responsibilities that come with it. Then I think that if I lose 75 pounds, I would be under 100 pounds and I'm pretty sure that would leave me looking pretty nasty (i.e. anorexic)
So I guess I will have to settle for 18 pounds. Whatever.

* I've been logging all of my calories consumed on a daily basis. I started off REALLY good at this and have since gotten a little lax, I will admit. But logging my food has really made me take a hard look at my day to day choices and I have been very consistent about making good food choices. This really just required a little tweaking for me, since I already ate pretty "clean" as they say in the world of fit blogging. I get lazy about logging in a bite of something or a cracker or a tootsie roll (I MUST get these out of my office!). I think this is due in part to the fact that logging my food takes a serious amount of time and it's not all that exciting. So I kind of half ass it. I am committed to being better at this going forward. Honestly. (Note: I have cut back on the boozing A LOT and now I just save it for one night per weekend. This, according to Andrew, makes me "no fun.")

* I've been incorporating exercize as part of my daily routine. Turns out, cleaning the house from top to bottom is the caloric equivalent of walking on the treadmill for an hour, and 20 minutes of the 30 Day Shred is the same as a 10 minute run. I have tried hard to keep my workouts interesting and incorporate a mix of strength traning and cardio. But lately, I've been overdoing the cardio becuase (I'll be honest) I'm a tad bit clueless when it comes to weight training on my own at the gym (I need you, Jillian Michaels!). BUUUUT, lucky for me, my chirporactor gave me a free personal traning session at our gym (thanks Dr. Shapiro, if you're reading!) so my revised plan is to meet with the tranier and get some new moves for the New Year! I'm guessing that this will be a return to my circuit training days of Spring, 2008.

*All my jeans fit comfortably. (With the exception of the official "skinny jeans"). In fact, the ratio of things too small for me to things too big for me is shifting as I write. I gave away my firts pair of "fat pants" over Thankgiving. This in and of itself is something to be eternally grateful for (and REALLY excited about!)

In conclusion:
* Today i renewed my Body Bugg subscription for another YEAR! My goal is that a year from now I won't need to renew again.

* Change is slow but oh-so WORTH IT!

* I do not need to be a slave to the gym to reach my goal weight, there are plenty of other activities that are just as effective and a lot less boring.

* If I love and respect my body, it will love and respect me back (a BIG apology to my liver for college, and to the rest of my organs for that whole puking for 7 years nonsense).

* Its okay to indulge every once in awhile. I won't gain 5 pounds from one stinking piece of cake (unless you ask the piece of shit scale that I have now, becuase he-yes its a HE-SUCKS!)

* Moderation, balance and satisfaction are all things to be enjoyed and celebrated.

* ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

A Streak (?)

This morning I got up early AGAIN to work out! I only did the Shred (I've been on and off with this lately) but it was better than nothing. I've noticed that even when I do a short workout in the morning, I burn WAY more calories by the end of the day.

But,
TWO DAYS IN A ROW!!!! I think this is the start of an awesome morning workout streak for me!
I'm told it takes 21 days to break or begin a new habit. WOO! 19 more days to go!
(And yes, I do realize how ridiculous I sound getting excited about 2 days in a row. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.)

But why I REALLY wanted to post was because I read an AWESOME post over at MizFit today on children and role models and respecting our bodies. It really raises an interesting issue. I left her a ridiculously long comment that resembles a therapeutic rant, but you don't have to read that part.

I really feel very strongly about this issue and I know that it was my mom's unhealthy relationship with food and non-existent relationship with exercise that played a major role in spawning my eating disorder. I mean, it its not her fault. I don't think she could have possibly known how it could have affected me years down the road. And even if it were her fault, she didn't force me to stick my fingers down my throat. (Someday I will write a post on how how weird it was for me to be totally cognizant of how ridiculous my eating disordered behaviors were. Sorry. Off topic.)
Anyhow, check it out. Let me know what you think. This is cheaper for me than therapy :-)

INSANE

OH MY GOSH, THE PHILLIES JUST WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!! This city is CRAZY right now! The game ended over an hour ago and we are still hearing horns blaring, fireworks and people cheering.
This is the most amazing thing for this city. We SO desperately need something to unite behind. I'll write more on this after the victory parade on Friday, which I'm sure will be just as crazy as tonight.

I attempted level 3 of the Shred on Tuesday. Oh. My. God. I seriously HATED Jillian for he entire 20 minutes. That bitch is CRAZY! At one point I was actually laughing because I honestly couldn't believe I was hearing what she was suggesting I do. Jumping jacks with 5 pound weights in each hand?! GAH! I was curing and grunting like a madwoman. But it was an amazing workout. I guess I'm on my way to being shredded(?)
In all honesty though, I can't see how it only takes 30 days to get through the whole DVD. I spent 12 days on level one and almost 3 weeks on level 2. Granted, I wasn't doing it every single day, but I've been doing the DVD for over 6 weeks and only just felt ready enough to try level 3. Or maybe I'm a just a wimp.

Tomorrow is my weekly weigh-in and I'm a little nervous. I drank WAY too much last weekend and I have been stressed beyond belief this week with work. When I'm stressed out, I don't eat well. Actually, I hardly ever eat. Today I barely squeezed in 1200 calories and I think I only made it because I had seconds at dinner.
Anyhow, it should only be stressful for a few more weeks and then things should settle back into my routine. At least the Shred is good for squeezing in a quick workout, so that part of my routine hasn't suffered too much.

I'm so excited for Philly! But I HAVE to get to bed. I have 1.5 more crazy days of work before I'm allowing myself to celebrate at the Phillies parade on Friday. Which means I better finish my Halloween costume tomorrow. This is good for me. I ALWAYS wait until the last minute to throw a Halloween costume together. What's everyone else going to be? Until tomorrow...

Eeeeek!

This is how I approach the scale now, after last week when I didn't lose any weight. I was kind of putting off weighing myself this morning; snoozed 4 times, took the dog out, rolled back into bed for a few minutes, then finally dragged myself up and out and onto the (eeek!) scale.

Aaaand I lost 2 more pounds!
Which brings my total weight loss to 6 pounds. So even though I maintained last week, I'm still right on target! WOOOO HOOOO! And ontop of that, my body fat has gone down 2% this week! Thank you Body Bugg for your accountability and Jillian Michaels (P.S.-I love you) for your ass kicking workouts!

So obviously I'm feeling pretty kick ass right now. Which is a marked improvement from yesterday, when I spent 3 hours at the Volkswagen dealership waiting for my car to be inspected (there's NO way its supposed to take that long). I was that girl sleeping in 2 chairs pushed together in the waiting room. I was annoyed that I didn't have time for a run because it was dark by the time I left, so I just did level 2 of the shred and called it a night. My back has been bothering me ever since my incident with the erg last week. I think tonight I will just go for a long, easy run, then out for a drink to celebrate because my friend Emily got a job! YAY!

The other thing that I'm proud of is the lunch I had today. Andrew and I went to grab a quick bite after a work event that I had on his side of town. The menu had so many delicious things but I opted for a vegetarian chili (without cheese since you can't really taste it anyway) and a side of sweet potato fries (a treat!) that I shared.
I ate MAYBE a cup of the chili and a handful of fries and was full. If I had eaten that same meal a month ago, I would have polished off the chili and the fries all at once. Is my stomach shrinking? My favorite part was that I stopped when I was full and not stuffed. I didn't feel gross from over eating AND I have leftovers that I can have for dinner with a nice little side salad. SCORE! Someone once told me it takes about 3 weeks to form a habit and they must have been right because I swear this gets easier everyday!

Et Al.

Tomorrow will be my second weigh-in and I'm nervous that I haven't lost any weight this week. I'm afraid that even as careful as I was on Saturday with all the beer and Sunday with the pizza, it will have set me back. *Enter crazy, obsessive, eating-disordered Becky* I realize that when I start thinking like this, it only results in a downward spiral, so I'm really trying to commit to staying focused while at the same time giving myself a break. I know this all requires hard work but, again, if I'm killing myself then its not sustainable and, therefore, won't last. The point is to make it LAST!

I did a second day of Level 2 of the Shred last night (which is Day 12-almost half way!) after a short run. It's definitely tougher than Level 1, especially those evil chair squats with V-flys. If I didn't like Jillian so much, I would HATE her! I have talked this DVD up to everyone I know, no joke. Jillian should be paying me to market this thing. Although, to be fair, its not a hard sell and it only costs $9.99 on Amazon.

I'm getting much faster with the counting of calories and now that I have added most of my frequent foods into the Body Bugg web system, it takes seconds to manage my food for the day. My hunger throughout the day is scattered. I usually find that I am most hungry between lunch and mid-afternoon and even when I have a snack, I'm not satisfied. I have been drinking TONS of water as well and that hasn't helped, so I know the hunger is genuine. I'm having a hard time balancing the hunger with calories. I think I usually save most of my calories for dinner, but I may rearrange to have the bulk of my calories consumed between 12-4pm. Hmm...I'll try that tomorrow and see if it works.
Right now a typical day's meals look like this:

Breakfast:
2 cups Trader Joes cheerios
1 cup skim milk
1/2 banana (or 1/2 grapefruit)

Lunch:
PB& Jelly Sandwich (or rice cakes with lite cream cheese, onions & tomatoes)
2 cups mixed green salad w/dressing (1tbsp)
apple

Snack:
1/4 cup raw almonds
Trader Joe's dried fruit bar

Dinner:
i serving of Thai curry with tofu

Actually, after looking at that, most of my calories are in the first part of the day, so maybe I need to add in a morning snack and then eat lunch later? That seems like it would be more effective.

In other stuff:
I cannot WAIT for the VP debate tomorrow night! It should be "enlightening" at least..
AAANDD Andrew and I just found about this program Farm to City (www.farmtocity.org)* Now we can get all local produce throughout the winter! Hooray! We can also get bread, cheese, eggs, milk and a whole slew of other things-ALL LOCAL and we get to PICK what we need! See? Eating local isn't as restricting as people think it is! I'm SO excited! I might have to get everyone I know into THIS too!

*I have NO idea why I can't get links to work, but its really getting annoying!

Fight Gone Bad

What a CRAZY weekend! I was feeling ambitious on Thursday so I decided to give Level 2 of the Shred a go. It wasn't NEARLY as bad as I had imagined. It was definitely challenging, but not at all impossible. I was proud of myself for getting through the entire workout with my 5 pound weights! Level 2 is harder in the cardio aspect, for sure. There's a lot more jumping and hopping around which helps keep the heart rate up. Level 1, while challenging, has several moves that allow for the heart rate to drop (or maybe they're just getting too easy for me?). Either way, I survived and it was great. I went back to Level 1 on Friday in preparation for my Fight Gone Bad workout on Saturday.
Saturday's workout with Jill's Crossfit group (www.delawarevalleycrossfit.com) was a fundraiser for Athletes for a Cure and the Wounded Warrior Project. The workout was done in pairs and consisted of three rotations of 5 1-minute stations (with 1 minute rest in between rotations). The stations were the erg, wall ball squats (squat, throw a medicine ball up against the wall catch it and repeat), sumo dead lifts (basically a squat lift with weight to the chin), box jumps and push up lifts (raising a bar from your chest up over your head).
After the first 4 minutes, I was pretty sure I would puke. It was WAYYY intense. I rocked on the erg, which was great. The points for the erg were based on how many calories you burned and since NO ONE uses the erg correctly, they were all killing themselves to burn 9 (or less) calories in a minute. When done properly, you use a LOT less energy and burn more calories because the correct motion is more efficient. Anyhow, that minute was my recovery. I just chilled on the erg, rowing away for a minute, with my splits barely under 2:30 and i was still burning 13-15 calories each minute. I was laughing to myself on the inside :-)
All in all, it was a GREAT workout. (Both Andrew and I are STILL sore though).

We had to rush home because we were late for Oktoberfest and we had VIP passes to get in an hour early. It was a GREAT time and we tried so many beers, new and old. Emily and I fell in love with a Berry Wheat. Delish! The only downside was the mile long line for 6 porta potties. SIX!? There must have been 250 people there-ALL drinking- and they get SIX porta potties? Not very well planned out, if you ask me. It led some people to desperate measures, like peeing in trash cans.

Next weekend is the opening of the new Bella Vista beer distributors and there is a definite possibility of it being a lot like this weekend, but without free beer steins and a lot more parking lots to pee in.