Scales, Knees and Arthiritis-OH MY!

Its official, blog world. I am falling apart. And it's only natural. I mean, I DID just turn 29. I'm on the downward slope of my bell curve life.

I am really going to set my scale on fire. I got on it yesterday for the first time in a month or so and it read me a number so low, I hadn't seen it on a scale I was standing on since middle school. I immediately began celebrating and feeling awesome about myself (although in the back of my head questioning the validity of the number because I am still not in my skinny jeans and this number would have really let me fit in my skinny jeans).
I had a doctor's appointment in the afternoon, where I was just praying for the validation that my (formerly) evil scale had just given me. Oh but the doctor's scale hates me too. And I am far heavier than I thought. I have gained back all but 10 measly little pounds. And now I am back to being disappointed with myself again. Why, oh why, do we let numbers affect our feelings? (note to self: work on this).

I may have mentioned in my last post about my arthritis. I got diagnosed with it (in my knees) when I was 20. At the time, it was no big deal. I was in college, rowing, running and competing every weekend. Now, at 29, it feels like a death sentence.
When I was first diagnosed, I was given a prescription to manage the pain and inflammation. It made me see black spots. So I stopped taking it and began a years-long dependency to ibuprofen, glucosamine, and ice.
For many many years this worked pretty well. But recently, my knees are having none of it. They are pissed! I came back from a run the other day and they were literally throbbing with pain. Obviously, I am annoyed because this is interfering with my workouts, running and weight loss. But even more than that, I am really concerned. I have seen all of those commercials about people with arthritis, hobbling about. Crying about all the things they can't do. But the people are all at LEAST 60 years old so I never associated myself with having arthritis. But the other day, it became very clear to me that I am now that old person trapped in my 29 year old body. The only difference is, I suffer through the pain because I'm "tough."
I do everything the doctor's recommend to manage the pain and symptoms. And I am frustrated and annoyed with my body. I feel like it's letting me down. I take such good care of it (although this wasn't always the case), and this is the thanks I get?
I want to be able to run around with my kids, not follow them in my wheelchair!

I'm going to start looking into alternative ways to deal with this before my doctor makes me see a specialist and the specialist tells me my options are "suffering" or "surgery." I'll try anything at this point. Bring on the witch doctors!

Biting the Bullet

Here I am again today-as promised! I even sucked it up and got on the scale this morning. I'm still down 12 pounds from where I started. I did get on the scale after my workout this morning (yes, you heard right, I went to the gym this morning too!) and I heard somewhere that you're not supposed to weight yourself after you workout b/c you're always heavier. As I write this, I'm actually wondering if that's true or if I just made it up. I'm going to go google it. Hang on...

Ok, so thats kind of BS. It really doesn't make that much of a difference and our body weight fluctuates throughout the day (including before and after workouts) so I'll just accept it and say I'm down 12 pounds still (which means I've gained back about 8 pounds). But hey, I've kept it off for months and months so that's something right? RIGHT?

And I logged my food yesterday all day, like I promised I would. I've decided that I'm going to just take this one day at a time.

We haven't been grocery shopping in awhile so we've been eating a lot of non-perishable food (and eating out..but hey, it was restaurant week AND I got a new job) and my body is definitely missing the roughage. I felt like my stomach was waging war against me yesterday, shouting "Give me vegetables! I need a banana!" We didn't have much in the way of veggies at home so I gave it a Trader Joe's chicken burrito and some sauteed portabella mushrooms. It wasn't psyched. I'm making up for it today with lunch.

I made us some tasty healthy turkey spinach wraps for lunch (plus a bag of carrots and peppers for me) and insisted that Andrew not forget his apple. (He'd eat 2 bags of microwave rice for lunch everyday if he could..) I actually really enjoy packing lunches for us. Mostly because it gets me out of doing the breakfast dishes, but also because I feel like I'm contributing to our health in a productive way. Plus, it saves money. And who doesn't like saving money?!?

Two and half weeks till my birthday! I'm going to be 25 (again!)

Oh the Irony..

Okay, so I have decided that I LOVE going to the gym first thing in the morning. I like it for several reasons:
1) hardly anyone is there = no wait for equipment
2) I've burned 1000 calories by the time I get in the shower at 8am
3) I have my WHOOOOLE night free (to cook dinner, do laundry, read my book, watch tv, bake cookies-whatever I fricken FEEL like, basically. Happy Hour, what?)
4) I have my whole MIND free (as in I don't spend the whole day dreading the gym and the things I hate about it and instead I can focus totally on blogs and gossip rags. and occasionally work.)
5) I feel basically awesome all day long (as long as I have a cup of coffee for my mid afternoon after-lunch slump)
6) No creepy TV watching guy (there is this guy at my gym-kinda old, always wears black sweatpants-and I've NEVER seen him work out. All he does is stand by the treadmills and ellipticals and watch TV. For HOURS. Its weird. And annoying. And when he's there, I get SO distracted on the treadmill thinking about why he never works out and why he doesn't just wacth tv at home....but I digress)

Great, right? With a list like that, I should have NO PROBLEM going to the gym in the morning.

Except....
I HATE getting up early and I HATE mornings.
But other than that, I'm totally sold on the morning gym visits.


We had a really low key weekend. I ran some errands, grocery shopped, read my book, had lunch with Andrew's mom...it was really nice. This week I have a million things to do: planning for our holiday party next weekend whilst trying to find our foster dog a new home, fix the leak in the roof, do 7 million loads of laundry, clean, bake cookies for my office-mates, and prep for our travel next week. (I yawned just WRITING all of that!) I'm in for a CRAZY week, I guess!


Here's our Christmas tree (we decorated last weekend):



























Oh, and I'm still in a fight with the scale. I'm giving it the silent treatment.

Eff YOU, scale!

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I feel like I am at war with this new scale. I can't decide if its my friend or foe. Andrew has been saying for the past week that it's off. He went to the doctor last week and said that he was heavier on the doctor's scale. For me, its not been as much about the numbers as it has been about the amount gained v. lost. But today I got on it and I am SIX POUNDS heavier? SIX POUNDS!?! In less than a week???? Actually, in like 3 days? I'm pretty much convinced this scale is either totally wrong or has some personal vendetta against me. There's just NO way I gained six pounds in three days (even with water weight, I only put on maybe 3)
I'm trying not to let it take over my day, but I'm seriously annoyed. I was cleaning last night and banged it around a little, could THAT make it get all messed up? UGH! either way, I'm not getting back on it for awhile. I need to cool off a bit. Because if it's STILL messed up the next time I get on it, its taking a nice trip out the flipping window (and no, I'm NOT kidding).

P.S. I LOOOVE oatmeal! Oh and I made this super tasty squash soup for dinner last night with both butternut AND acorn squash..and roasted garlic. MMMMMMM. I am such an awesome chef! I also spent 3.5 hours cleaning and doing laundry. Which makes me an awesome housekeeper as well! (okay maybe not. I really only spend that much cleaning about once a month).

Nibbles and Bits

I googled "nibbles" and this is what came up. Totally irrelevant. Cute, though. ->



Around this time of year, I always develop an irrational fear of my scale. Ok, so I'm pretty much afraid of my scale almost every time of the year, but at this time, its WAY worse.
Most days, I have no idea what I'm eating. Ok, thats not true either. I do, in fact, recognize the food, I just have no idea how much of it I'm eating when I'm snacking or nibbling my way through work parties, happy hours, tree trimmings and other holiday foodstivities.
Since I've started using the Body Bugg, I've cut my snacking WAYYY down. A lot of that has to do with packing my lunches and coking my own dinners and PLANNING everything I'm going to eat in a day. But when there are little tins of candies and bowls of dips and delicious treats EVERYWHERE, it gets harder and harder to remember what exactly I've had. I got so far astray over Thanksgiving, that I just gave up on logging my food entirely.
I'm back on track this week and I feel pretty good about not having completely blown my eating and exercise goals (I did get in one looooong run before dinner on Thanksgiving and I only ate one dessert the entire weekend), but I couldn't POSSIBLY tell you how much delicious Brueggers cream cheese I had for breakfast or how many gallons of gin and tonic I drank at my high school reunion, or how many potato chips and french onion dip I nibbled (seriously, who invented that combination?! its like a hart attack with a side of angioplasty! and why is it so flipping GOOD?!) after my niece's baptism.
My new goal is 6 pounds by Christmas. It was really encouraging being home and having people tell me that I looked good. But I still have a lot of work to do.
Looks like I'll be spending many romantic evenings with Jillian Michaels and the treadmil. At least after this weekend, I'll have a Christmas tree to keep me company!