In Which I Reflect Upon the Past Three Months

(Reflection. Get it?)








My Body Bugg web subscription expired today, which means its been three months since I started this, er, journey (?). It doesn't feel like it's been that long at all, but I thought I would take this post to reflect on the changes and progress I have made.

* I've lost 18 (or so-depending on which day you ask my stupid scale) pounds. I'm pretty far off my two pounds a week goal. Instead, I have been averaging about half a pound per week, sometimes a pound. It's not much, but its really sustainable at this rate, so I will just need to suck it up and be patient. I just watched the season finale of the Biggest Loser and compared to their 75, 80, 100 plus pounds lost, 18 looks and sounds pretty measly.Of course if I had the time and the resources to work out 4 hours a day with a trainer, I would probably be pretty smokin hot in 3 months, too. But alas, I have this whole JOB thing, and HOUSE thing and all the LAME responsibilities that come with it. Then I think that if I lose 75 pounds, I would be under 100 pounds and I'm pretty sure that would leave me looking pretty nasty (i.e. anorexic)
So I guess I will have to settle for 18 pounds. Whatever.

* I've been logging all of my calories consumed on a daily basis. I started off REALLY good at this and have since gotten a little lax, I will admit. But logging my food has really made me take a hard look at my day to day choices and I have been very consistent about making good food choices. This really just required a little tweaking for me, since I already ate pretty "clean" as they say in the world of fit blogging. I get lazy about logging in a bite of something or a cracker or a tootsie roll (I MUST get these out of my office!). I think this is due in part to the fact that logging my food takes a serious amount of time and it's not all that exciting. So I kind of half ass it. I am committed to being better at this going forward. Honestly. (Note: I have cut back on the boozing A LOT and now I just save it for one night per weekend. This, according to Andrew, makes me "no fun.")

* I've been incorporating exercize as part of my daily routine. Turns out, cleaning the house from top to bottom is the caloric equivalent of walking on the treadmill for an hour, and 20 minutes of the 30 Day Shred is the same as a 10 minute run. I have tried hard to keep my workouts interesting and incorporate a mix of strength traning and cardio. But lately, I've been overdoing the cardio becuase (I'll be honest) I'm a tad bit clueless when it comes to weight training on my own at the gym (I need you, Jillian Michaels!). BUUUUT, lucky for me, my chirporactor gave me a free personal traning session at our gym (thanks Dr. Shapiro, if you're reading!) so my revised plan is to meet with the tranier and get some new moves for the New Year! I'm guessing that this will be a return to my circuit training days of Spring, 2008.

*All my jeans fit comfortably. (With the exception of the official "skinny jeans"). In fact, the ratio of things too small for me to things too big for me is shifting as I write. I gave away my firts pair of "fat pants" over Thankgiving. This in and of itself is something to be eternally grateful for (and REALLY excited about!)

In conclusion:
* Today i renewed my Body Bugg subscription for another YEAR! My goal is that a year from now I won't need to renew again.

* Change is slow but oh-so WORTH IT!

* I do not need to be a slave to the gym to reach my goal weight, there are plenty of other activities that are just as effective and a lot less boring.

* If I love and respect my body, it will love and respect me back (a BIG apology to my liver for college, and to the rest of my organs for that whole puking for 7 years nonsense).

* Its okay to indulge every once in awhile. I won't gain 5 pounds from one stinking piece of cake (unless you ask the piece of shit scale that I have now, becuase he-yes its a HE-SUCKS!)

* Moderation, balance and satisfaction are all things to be enjoyed and celebrated.

* ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

A Streak (?)

This morning I got up early AGAIN to work out! I only did the Shred (I've been on and off with this lately) but it was better than nothing. I've noticed that even when I do a short workout in the morning, I burn WAY more calories by the end of the day.

But,
TWO DAYS IN A ROW!!!! I think this is the start of an awesome morning workout streak for me!
I'm told it takes 21 days to break or begin a new habit. WOO! 19 more days to go!
(And yes, I do realize how ridiculous I sound getting excited about 2 days in a row. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.)

But why I REALLY wanted to post was because I read an AWESOME post over at MizFit today on children and role models and respecting our bodies. It really raises an interesting issue. I left her a ridiculously long comment that resembles a therapeutic rant, but you don't have to read that part.

I really feel very strongly about this issue and I know that it was my mom's unhealthy relationship with food and non-existent relationship with exercise that played a major role in spawning my eating disorder. I mean, it its not her fault. I don't think she could have possibly known how it could have affected me years down the road. And even if it were her fault, she didn't force me to stick my fingers down my throat. (Someday I will write a post on how how weird it was for me to be totally cognizant of how ridiculous my eating disordered behaviors were. Sorry. Off topic.)
Anyhow, check it out. Let me know what you think. This is cheaper for me than therapy :-)

Oh the Irony..

Okay, so I have decided that I LOVE going to the gym first thing in the morning. I like it for several reasons:
1) hardly anyone is there = no wait for equipment
2) I've burned 1000 calories by the time I get in the shower at 8am
3) I have my WHOOOOLE night free (to cook dinner, do laundry, read my book, watch tv, bake cookies-whatever I fricken FEEL like, basically. Happy Hour, what?)
4) I have my whole MIND free (as in I don't spend the whole day dreading the gym and the things I hate about it and instead I can focus totally on blogs and gossip rags. and occasionally work.)
5) I feel basically awesome all day long (as long as I have a cup of coffee for my mid afternoon after-lunch slump)
6) No creepy TV watching guy (there is this guy at my gym-kinda old, always wears black sweatpants-and I've NEVER seen him work out. All he does is stand by the treadmills and ellipticals and watch TV. For HOURS. Its weird. And annoying. And when he's there, I get SO distracted on the treadmill thinking about why he never works out and why he doesn't just wacth tv at home....but I digress)

Great, right? With a list like that, I should have NO PROBLEM going to the gym in the morning.

Except....
I HATE getting up early and I HATE mornings.
But other than that, I'm totally sold on the morning gym visits.


We had a really low key weekend. I ran some errands, grocery shopped, read my book, had lunch with Andrew's mom...it was really nice. This week I have a million things to do: planning for our holiday party next weekend whilst trying to find our foster dog a new home, fix the leak in the roof, do 7 million loads of laundry, clean, bake cookies for my office-mates, and prep for our travel next week. (I yawned just WRITING all of that!) I'm in for a CRAZY week, I guess!


Here's our Christmas tree (we decorated last weekend):



























Oh, and I'm still in a fight with the scale. I'm giving it the silent treatment.

Eff YOU, scale!

=










I feel like I am at war with this new scale. I can't decide if its my friend or foe. Andrew has been saying for the past week that it's off. He went to the doctor last week and said that he was heavier on the doctor's scale. For me, its not been as much about the numbers as it has been about the amount gained v. lost. But today I got on it and I am SIX POUNDS heavier? SIX POUNDS!?! In less than a week???? Actually, in like 3 days? I'm pretty much convinced this scale is either totally wrong or has some personal vendetta against me. There's just NO way I gained six pounds in three days (even with water weight, I only put on maybe 3)
I'm trying not to let it take over my day, but I'm seriously annoyed. I was cleaning last night and banged it around a little, could THAT make it get all messed up? UGH! either way, I'm not getting back on it for awhile. I need to cool off a bit. Because if it's STILL messed up the next time I get on it, its taking a nice trip out the flipping window (and no, I'm NOT kidding).

P.S. I LOOOVE oatmeal! Oh and I made this super tasty squash soup for dinner last night with both butternut AND acorn squash..and roasted garlic. MMMMMMM. I am such an awesome chef! I also spent 3.5 hours cleaning and doing laundry. Which makes me an awesome housekeeper as well! (okay maybe not. I really only spend that much cleaning about once a month).

My body officially HATES junk?!?!

<----- :-(



WTF?! This is no joke here, people. This is VERY serious. I promise that even though I have always wanted to be skinny, I have NEVER wanted to give up the tasty junky treats that have been the most steadfast contributors to my wobbly tummy pooch!
Yes, I gave them up willingly when I agreed to record all my food and count all my calories. But now, it would appear, that I can't have them at ALL! Even when I WANT THEM!
Examples: had french fries with cheese on Saturday. Promptly threw up. (not kidding)
Ate pancakes for breakfast at the neighborhood joint. Stomach ache (and other yucky stuff)ALL DAY LONG. Ate nothing else the rest of the day (except a latke).
Recently had 3 (yes, only THREE) glasses of wine at Holiday Party. Sick and hungover ALL the next day. Note: I have been drinking pretty regularly(i.e several times a week) for at least the past 10 years. Wow, I just re-read that and I sound like a total alcoholic. I'm not. Or if I am, so are all of my friends and everyone that ever went to my college.

I have pretty much stopped drinking as much booze (maybe once a week if that) and I have cut out all the crap food like fried stuff and sugary goodness as part of my attempts at healthy living. I take my vitamins, I work out, I drink plenty of water.

Is my body rebelling against junk since its been so ling since I've had it? Has it forgotten what to do with wine and french fries? I'm so confused. I want to be able to treat myself every once in awhile, but lately, it has NOT been worth it. I was a pretty decent eater before all of this. I cook a lot at home so I wasn't hitting the drive-thru every night, by any means. My "junk food" has always been things like cheese, beer, carbs and Bryers ice cream.
I guess this could be some kind of blessing in disguise, but it makes me a little sad. I mean, pancakes?!

In other news, I had the BEST run yesterday! It was fast and strong (EDIT: I AM FAST AND STRONG-Thanks, Miz!) and I felt GREAT!
Today I had a 3rd interview for a new job (more money! yay!). I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I'm excited. I will keep you all (all 4 of you) updated on that if I find anything out.

AAAND I'm down 18 pounds and only a few more to go before Christmas!
Its only Tuesday but so far its been an awesome week!
HO HO HO!

(Mostly) Totally Unrelated

Oh man I just LOOOOOVE this time of year! Last night, I caught Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (the original, with Burl Ives) on prime time TV. I was SOO excited because every year I miss it and have to rent it instead. But this year, I got to see it the way I did when I was a kid: broken up into 7 minute segments and stretched out over an hour, with butt loads of commercials in between. I sang along to all of the songs, I laughed out loud at Hermie (he's my favorite!), I was all alone on the couch... it was glorious! I think I already missed the Grinch, but I saw commericals for Frosty, so hopefully I'll be able to catch that one, too!
I am also obsessed with the 24 hour Christmas music station. The othe rnight I heard "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" for the first time this year. My grandma used to get offended when we sang it to her, but it always makes me laugh.
This weekend we are getting our tree and decorating! I can't wait to hang all of our stockings from the railing (we have one for each of us and our pets). Maybe I will go all out and bake some cookies too!

I got on the scale this morning for the first time in over a week. The good news is that I didn't gain any weight over Thanksgiving. The bad news is I didn't lose any either. I'm about 6 pounds off from my intended goal, according to my Body Bugg program. Its coming off VEEERRRRY slowly, but at least its coming off. Oh, and my body fat is down aobut 5% overall. Remember I was experimenting with taking that Milk Thistle that I read helps liver function? I've been taking it for about 8 weeks or so. I honestly don't think its had any major effects. I've dropped 16 pounds and 5% body fat, which I think is pretty average. I would expect that if the Milk Thistle was working, my body fat would be much lower, but who knows? Its not hurting anything and there aren't any negative side effects so I think I will keep taking it for a bit.
Only 3 more weeks till Christmas! Which means I need to get back on track to losing 2 pounds per week (I've been averaging about half a pound per week). I am determined to stay focused even though I'm all crazy and giddy with holiday excitement and parties and fun stuff!!
Now, if only we had some snow.... ;-)

Nibbles and Bits

I googled "nibbles" and this is what came up. Totally irrelevant. Cute, though. ->



Around this time of year, I always develop an irrational fear of my scale. Ok, so I'm pretty much afraid of my scale almost every time of the year, but at this time, its WAY worse.
Most days, I have no idea what I'm eating. Ok, thats not true either. I do, in fact, recognize the food, I just have no idea how much of it I'm eating when I'm snacking or nibbling my way through work parties, happy hours, tree trimmings and other holiday foodstivities.
Since I've started using the Body Bugg, I've cut my snacking WAYYY down. A lot of that has to do with packing my lunches and coking my own dinners and PLANNING everything I'm going to eat in a day. But when there are little tins of candies and bowls of dips and delicious treats EVERYWHERE, it gets harder and harder to remember what exactly I've had. I got so far astray over Thanksgiving, that I just gave up on logging my food entirely.
I'm back on track this week and I feel pretty good about not having completely blown my eating and exercise goals (I did get in one looooong run before dinner on Thanksgiving and I only ate one dessert the entire weekend), but I couldn't POSSIBLY tell you how much delicious Brueggers cream cheese I had for breakfast or how many gallons of gin and tonic I drank at my high school reunion, or how many potato chips and french onion dip I nibbled (seriously, who invented that combination?! its like a hart attack with a side of angioplasty! and why is it so flipping GOOD?!) after my niece's baptism.
My new goal is 6 pounds by Christmas. It was really encouraging being home and having people tell me that I looked good. But I still have a lot of work to do.
Looks like I'll be spending many romantic evenings with Jillian Michaels and the treadmil. At least after this weekend, I'll have a Christmas tree to keep me company!

I'M BAAAAACK!

WOW. I just had the most amazing weekend EVER. No joke. But it didn't have much to do with food, fitness or weight loss so I will spare you all too many of the details.

I spent all day Friday, Saturday and Sunday in a seminar that didn't end until midnight. Needless to say, I blew the whole weekend off exercise-wise. I did the best I could with my food, but we didn't have much time to eat so it ended up being mostly granola bars, fruit, some veggies, handfuls of Terra chips (LOVE these!), and pb & j sandwiches. I had a couple Naked Green Machine drinks to supplement all the fruits and veggies that I normally get but didn't this weekend. I must have done pretty well, becuase I FINALLY lost that stubborn pound and am now back to minus 14 pounds (which is where I was 2 weeks ago). So it begins again. I'm too excited for Thanksgiving to worry that the three pounds may come back and I am DEFNITELY not going to obsess about it for the 5 days a year I get to spend with my family. I'm trying EVERYTHING on that table! I'll just bump up the exercize a bit and enjoy in moderation. :-)
I'm traveling tomorrw and my HS reunion is Friday but I will try to post at least once over the weekend about my first real holiday with my Body Bugg and commitment to weight loss.
I hope everyone gives themselves a break and really, really enjoys themselves.
Yay organic, grass fed turkey and PIE! (my step mom makes the BEST pecan pie!)

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Oh Whatever....

I lost two of those stupid pounds that I gained back but I'm still back to having that one stupid pound hanging around.
Whatever. It's been such a crazy week that I'm too drained to even worry about it. (I'm sure Andrew will appreciate that)
I had to wear a suit to work today because I had to speak at an event and my Isaac Mizhari for Target pants (which cost $7, by the way) are nice and loose. And so was the stretchy t-shirt that I JUST BOUGHT LAST WEEKEND (both awesome and annoying). I guess I should just stop buying clothes until I'm done losing weight. But at this rate, I won't be buying any new clothes for the next 14 months. I always say that I have nothing to wear (despite a full closet of clothes) but this time, I really am telling the truth. I genuinely have very few things that don't look a little weird on me. On a positive note, I'm hoping I'm not too far away from getting back into my skinny jeans!

Also, I'm back on the Shred. I jumped back in a level 2 and was juuuust a little bit sore the next day. Oh Jillian, even when I've done your workout so many times that can recite every word you say for the entire 26 minutes, you still kick my ass. It is still the best workout you can do in 20 minutes. I did some other ON DEMAND workouts just for fun and none of them are as good at keeping me interested as Jillian. But maybe because I have a girl crush on her and her hot body.

My gym has a chiropractor and I had my first appointment with him tonight. I have been having some recurring lower back and shoulder pain that are residual from old rowing injuries and occasionally require some treatment. He has this wonderful bed with massaging vibrations and water that is so warm and cozy. I think it was the most enoyable 10 minutes of my entire week. I NEED one of these beds! It puts memory foam to shame! I did a short run after my appointment and I felt GREAT! I cannot wait to go back and get some more massagey treatments and lay on that bed!

I'm about to spend the next 3 days sitting on my ass in a conference that goes until almost midnight each night, so I'll be doing my workouts in the morning (insert fake enthused cheer here).

I'll be back on Monday. Have a SOOPER weekend! And if anyone has any ideas for creative ways to re-invent my too big clothes, I'm all ears, er, eyes. :-)

Beyond Frustrated

I keep gaining and losing weight! On Monday, I was down an extra 2 pounds and now I'm back up 3!! WTF!?!?! I'm going insane and I'm taking my boyfriend with me!
I'm counting every calorie, working out like a mad woman...ARGH!
I haven't done the Shred in awhile, maybe that's the issue. I haven't done much weigh training at all, really, in the past month. Instead. I've just been a cardio-fiend. This is primarily because cardio burns more calories for me in the short term and that helps me meet my daily calorie burned v. eaten goal. But its doing CRAP in terms of weight loss. Annoying. Seriously annoying.

Tomorrow, I lift weights.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

<---This is what I felt like this morning!



Its finally that time of the year when I begin to seriously debate putting my bike away for the year. This morning was FREEZING!! And they're calling for snow later this week. Even though I was born and raised in upstate New York, the mild Maryland winters and slushy Philadelphia streets have made me kind of a weather wimp. I still LOVE the snow, but I am getting soft on cold. Sorry, Syracuse.

Somehow, Andrew managed to get me out of bed this morning to go to the gym with very minimal effort. Maybe I haven't mentioned this before, but I HATE mornings. HATE. HATE. Yes, I was in fact a rower in college. Yes, I did spend the better part of my college career getting up at 4:15am. I did it out of necessity then and I guess it backfired because now, I really HATE mornings.
I think Andrew was pretty shocked when I not only got out of bed, but proceeded to put on my gym clothes and wash my face (admit it, you TOTALLY thought I was going to skip it).
I was actually surprised at me, too. Even while I was walking to the bathroom, I was thinking "do I REALLY want to be up right now?"
We biked to the gym all bundled up and I gave the treadmill the best 40 minutes that I could, given my creaking knees and tight muscles. I'm not going to lie, the run pretty much sucked. But I did it and I'm glad I did. Now when I get home tonight, I can relax and make us a nice dinner before we have to run out the door again. Maybe I'll try to make this morning work out a regular thing. But that would require us getting to bed quite a bit earlier, so we'll see.

This weekend we planted trees with our neighborhood association on Sunday and met up with some of my old college friends on Saturday (SO fun! Everyone that went to my college is awesome and hilarious!). I ended up having to explain my Body Bugg to at least 5 people, because I wore short sleeves. but I got a couple compliments on how I was looking so I felt pretty good. (I'm not sure if the Body Bugg prompted them or not, it was hard to tell).
Friday night, Andrew had some of his boys over to bottle his hard cider (and watch a TERRIBLE movie called "The Warriors") so I went to bed early-ish.

I honestly forgot to weigh myself this morning (I was so distracted with getting my butt to the gym!) so I'll do that tomorrow or Wednesday. I did a LOT of snacking this weekend (although I did keep the booze intake at a very reasonable level) so I'm a little nervous about whether or not that had any impact.

I am beyond excited to go home next week for Thanksgiving! I haven't seen my family since August! Andrew and I are bringing an organic, grass fed turkey! YUM!

I actually forgot to

Take THAT, Stupid Pound!

Hoooo RA! Not only did I lose that stupid pound that I gained and have been chilling out with the past two weeks, I lost two more! And it's not even my weigh-in day! I don't know what possessed me to get on the scale this morning, even though its not even Thursday. Andrew and I both slept like CRAP last night thanks to our plethora of animals. The dog was whining because we ran out of food and she didn't like the egg/cornmeal concoction that Andrew made her for dinner. Then Mr. Puss was locked in the bathroom all night because we were trying to get another urine sample to take to the vet with him this morning (he's having x-rays and some tests done). So he was crying all night and making this awful squeaking noise (I discovered this morning that it was him pawing the mirror-the paw prints showed up post-shower, after the mirror got all foggy!) We both got up numerous times to deal with the pets and I had to use the downstairs bathroom all night so Puss wouldn't get out. After I walked up and down the stairs, I was ready to get up, not go back to bed.
We both skipped the gym this morning, on account of no sleep and crankiness. Even so, I still had to get up early to drop the cat off at the vet, where some jerk yelled at me because I wasn't an employee and couldn't open the locked door for him.
All of this before 8:15! needless to say, my morning did not start out well. Given my relationship with the scale the past few weeks, the LAST thing I should have done was get on it this morning. I guess I figured I would let it determine how my day was going to be. If the pound was still there: shitty. If not: a reason to have a great day, despite no sleep, annoying pets and a hillbilly jerk (who had his dog locked in a box in the bed of his truck, by the way).
I'm SO GLAD the scale was in my favor today! Now I'm officially 14 pounds lighter! I'm a little off track, and still a pound away from my Halloween goal, but after 2 weeks of maintaining, I'm very relieved to see ANY downward movement! (Especially since my sister called me on Saturday to tell me that she lost 10 pounds by "doing nothing." She has 2 kids under the age of 4 so that TOTALLY does NOT count. I told her that I was happy for her but that she was a jerk.)

Other reasons I feel awesome today:
*I got a sweet haircut and color (back to the natural brunette; it was fun being blonde while it lasted) for 60 bucks at the beauty school
*Andrew and I went shopping yesterday and I got a BRAND new pashmina for 9 bucks at the consignment shop, AND a new eyeshadow palette from MAC on SALE at Macy's AND a delicious dinner out (duck tacos with pineapple salsa-YUM! I should start taking pictures of my food...)
* I made my lunch last night so it was all ready for this morning (I LOVE when I plan ahead)
* I'm off work tomorrow for Veteran's Day!!!!

Yesterday I decided that I needed a tan so I ran down to the tanning salon (about 1.4 miles away). It was one of those mornings where you just can't get in a groove. You know what I mean? (When I said that to Andrew, he said "no." So I'm asking to make sure I'm not insane.) Anyhow, it was a rough start but I took it easy and finally got there. I haven't run outside in awhile because the cold really aggravates the arthritis in my knees. On the way back I did intervals, which was equally (if not more) painful. Then I did some quick wights when I got home. I skipped Saturday because I'm lazy and I was a little hungover.
Anyhow, here's to hoping that I'm back on track. It would be AMAZING to lose 6 pounds before Thanksgiving to make it an even 20! I think that will be my new goal. Here's to keepin on...

Working Through the Frustration (and other tidbits of inspiration)

Get it? Pound?

So for two weeks now I have been carrying around an extra pound that I had previously lost and now (apparently) won't go away. It's probably the most annoying pound I've ever dealt with. before I started using the Body Bugg, I really only counted pounds in significant numbers, maybe 5 plus. A pound here, a pound there never really mattered that much to me. Now I'm obsessed with a pound.
Suffice it to say, I did NOT meet my Halloween goal (despite an awesome costume) and instead ended up sick in bed for 4 days. I feel like I have been back on track since I finally dragged my butt out of bed on Tuesday, but I guess two days wasn't enough to kick that pound's ass before I had to step on the scale (ugh) on Thursday. These times of not losing are really tough.
I attempted a run on Tuesday, made it about 2 miles before my chest started to burn and my nose was running profusely, then called it a night. I did what I THOUGHT was easy yoga that I found On Demand on Wednesday but was really sore afterwards (and a little dizzy). It wasn't much but it was better than nothing, I guess. Yesterday was the first day that I really had close to 100% of my energy back. I ran 4 miles on my already sore legs and called it a night. It was a nice, steady state run that took me just about 40-45 minutes. I felt 150% better afterwards but my legs were definitely NOT. I was planning on doing some Shred level 3 tonight, but I may just settle for another easy run. Or whatever I can squeeze in before game night tonight! (yes, I am in fact a total nerd). I think we're ordering pizza so I've been munching salads and veggies all day. Also, I'm having wine tonight. Because I can. (Don't worry, I won't overdo it. I made that mistake 2 weekends ago).

Sooo about this election.



Whoah. These past few days have been so overwhelming and almost surreal. I think Andrew is still in disbelief because he keeps saying "Obama WON!" I read a story that two days before she died, Barack's grandma mailed in her absentee ballot. Her vote was the last gift she gave him. I was crying like a baby reading it. When CNN announced he won, it was like the Phillies had won the World Series all over again! People cheering in the streets, honking horns, fireworks. But this time, nothing got set on fire (well done, Philly!)
It feels like a new era. It really does. Even people who didn't vote for Obama can sense it. There's this intense undercurrent of ownership and pride everywhere. John Stewart remarked that the day after the Election, he was walking down the street and a weird thing happened: eye contact. Suddenly, people were looking each other in the eye, smiling, nodding. Foreign countries are cheering for us(now maybe they won't make fun of us in their newspapers). We finally have a leader that we can be proud of (not that I wouldn't have been proud of McCain, I would have. He's a great man. Sarah Palin on the other hand...)
My only fear now is that people are going to sit back and just expect change to happen. But I think that Obama made it very clear that change doesn't just happen; we are responsible for it happening. Casting a vote for a candidate is only the first step, the follow through is the hard part. I think what is unique is that Obama has empowered voters in a way unlike any other candidate before him. He reaffirmed our belief in the idea that our votes are powerful tools, and created a sense of ownership in our communities and our country. I hope it sticks. I hope people accept the responsibility and the ownership. Because these next few years are going to be tough. We here in Philly are having our libraries closed, firehouses closed, pools and ice rinks closed, our winter plowing cut back, just to name a few. I can only imagine that it will be even worse at the federal level. But we, as citizens, need to realize that these cuts are absolutely necessary. And that we, as a community, need to take responsibility to come up with creative ways to deal with all of it. I would encourage everyone to join their local community group, civic association, neighborhood meet-up, whatever you have. Get involved. Take ownership. Be responsible for your community.

“Everybody counts, everybody deserves a chance, everybody has a responsible role to play and we all do better when we work together.” ~Bill Clinton

Yes we DID!!

I'm so totally exhausted/elated/moved/inspired right now that I couldn't put what I'm feeling into words even if I tried. But I do want to just take one hot second to express my sincerest gratitude to the fine citizens of Ohio and Virginia.

Dear Ohio and Virginia,
Thanks for coming through for us. You guys are awesome!
Love,
Becky

More tomorrow.....

:-)

Eating Healthy When You're Not

Ugh. I've been sick since Saturday morning. It feels like a mix of the flu and strep throat, complete with body aches and all kinds of congestion. I skipped a Halloween party on Saturday and spent the night with Nyquil. I woke up Sunday feeling even worse and spent the day moving between the bed and the couch.
I am burning maybe 1500 calories a day, which is like 1000 less than I should be. In addition to that, I'm ridiculously off target with my eating too. I know I should keep trying to eat healthy since I'm NOT healthy, but let's be honest, the last thing I want right now is a salad. Instead, I've had toast, yogurt, orange juice, an apple cider doughnut, mac and cheese, clementines and GALLONS of water. I tried to eat eggs this morning, but they tasted funny to my sick taste buds and I passed them off to Andrew.
I feel like I should be trying harder to eat better, but I just don't have the energy. So I'm trying to just eat as many calories as I burn and get better fast. At least then, I won't GAIN anything.
Hopefully, I'll be feeling better tomorrow and I can at least catch up on the laundry, cleaning and chores that have been neglected all weekend. I'm hoping to get in a light run too. I need to get back on track ASAP. I've already blown my goal for last week, I'll be REALLY upset if I blow it 2 weeks in a row.
I'm excited for Election Day tomorrow! I definitely don't want to be sick for that! I better keep chugging the OJ...

This is more important than my previous post in which I whined

Everyone should read this from Kelly at Grounded Fitness. We've all been thinking and talking about this forever, I'm glad someone finally put it in writing.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I wasn't going to post tonight because I am SO annoyed with myself and when I post here I can't avoid the truth. I gained a pound this week. I was honestly surprised that I didn't at LEAST maintain. I am SO frustrated with myself. Gaining a pound means that I have consistently eaten 250 more calories a day than I have burned. I will admit this week has been REALLY hectic with work and that I have been particularly tired and lethargic in the evenings. But I've hardly spent any time at my desk! I've been running all over the city all week! UGH! Andrew thinks I should try re-weighing myself tomorrow but I'm afraid if it doesn't change, I'll be even more bummed.
With Halloween tomorrow and two parties to go to, now I'm all worried about drinking too much and blowing it 2 weeks in a row. I know it makes me sound like a lush, but going to parties and NOT drinking is really tough for me. I guess I have no choice but to try. I'm starting to feel like a HUGE party pooper recently. We've been invited out several times this week but I don't want to go because the invites are to bars for drinks/happy hours etc. Drinking makes me hungry=bar food=blowing my calorie target for the day. Tonight, Andrew went to see a play with some friends and I decided not to go because I wanted to get a workout in. Am I all of a sudden one of those super obsessed lame girls who absolutely CANNOT skip a workout? I really hope not. The whole point of doing this was to make living healthy and losing weight a sustainable thing.
UGH! I guess I'm just bummed.
Have my big event for work tomorrow morning (the mayor is coming-SO NERVOUS!) and then the rest of the day off to enjoy the Phillies parade!
I worked on my Halloween costume tonight but I had some issues with super glue and now my fingers are a mess. I will be sure to post pictures of the finished product!
Happy Halloween weekend!!

INSANE

OH MY GOSH, THE PHILLIES JUST WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!! This city is CRAZY right now! The game ended over an hour ago and we are still hearing horns blaring, fireworks and people cheering.
This is the most amazing thing for this city. We SO desperately need something to unite behind. I'll write more on this after the victory parade on Friday, which I'm sure will be just as crazy as tonight.

I attempted level 3 of the Shred on Tuesday. Oh. My. God. I seriously HATED Jillian for he entire 20 minutes. That bitch is CRAZY! At one point I was actually laughing because I honestly couldn't believe I was hearing what she was suggesting I do. Jumping jacks with 5 pound weights in each hand?! GAH! I was curing and grunting like a madwoman. But it was an amazing workout. I guess I'm on my way to being shredded(?)
In all honesty though, I can't see how it only takes 30 days to get through the whole DVD. I spent 12 days on level one and almost 3 weeks on level 2. Granted, I wasn't doing it every single day, but I've been doing the DVD for over 6 weeks and only just felt ready enough to try level 3. Or maybe I'm a just a wimp.

Tomorrow is my weekly weigh-in and I'm a little nervous. I drank WAY too much last weekend and I have been stressed beyond belief this week with work. When I'm stressed out, I don't eat well. Actually, I hardly ever eat. Today I barely squeezed in 1200 calories and I think I only made it because I had seconds at dinner.
Anyhow, it should only be stressful for a few more weeks and then things should settle back into my routine. At least the Shred is good for squeezing in a quick workout, so that part of my routine hasn't suffered too much.

I'm so excited for Philly! But I HAVE to get to bed. I have 1.5 more crazy days of work before I'm allowing myself to celebrate at the Phillies parade on Friday. Which means I better finish my Halloween costume tomorrow. This is good for me. I ALWAYS wait until the last minute to throw a Halloween costume together. What's everyone else going to be? Until tomorrow...

Minor Distractions

You'll have to excuse me if my post comes out craptastic and rushed. I am in the middle of watching the Phillies play in game 2 of the World Series and we're behind by 2 :-(
Anyhow, today was my weekly weigh in and I lost another two pounds! That brings my total to 12 pounds!!! I'm feeling very encouraged; I am right on track with my goals. I decided that I want to lose 3 more pounds by Halloween next week, which will bring my total to 15 pounds. I'll need to be extra diligent this week to make that happen, but I'm pretty sure that I can do it.
Today I got all kinds of crazy and tried to wear those jeans that I haven't been able to fit into in awhile. I have at least 4 kinds of jeans in my closet: my fat jeans, my "these are the jeans I fit into most days" jeans, my "one size smaller" jeans and my official skinny jeans. Today I put on my "one size smaller" jeans. They're still a little snug, but they zippered AND buttoned which is PROGRESS!
ARGH! We're behind by 3 now!
Oh and we made delicious vegetarian cheesesteaks for dinner tonight with portabello mushrooms, onions and american cheese on awesome wholegrain bread-so yummy!
Oh and I found AMAZING peanut butter at Whole Foods, but I'll write more on that tomorrow.
Go Phils!!!

What if you can't choose?

Tonight I had a training session for my part time job, where I manage a program that prepares taxes for low income families. Its the most personally gratifying work that I have ever done (despite its challenges, which I'm sure you will all hear PLENTY about once the tax season starts). I really enjoy being a part of this program, really I do.
So tonight, I left right from my 9-5 to go to this training session. At the last training, they had a really nice meal for us: rotisserie chicken, green beans and potatoes (and plain caesar salads for us veggies). Last training session, I had a salad almost dry and half of a piece of cornbread. It was healthy enough and it filled up me up for the rest of the afternoon. So I was expecting something similar tonight.
Instead, we got pizza. Now, I already had my allotted pizza treat on Saturday (and a leftover piece on Monday) so the last thing I wanted (let alone NEEDED) was pizza. I was SO hungry that I ate a slice of pizza. But then I was still hungry and had 3 more hours of training left, so I had another. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I do appreciate that they feed us. But, if given the choice, I would not have selected pizza for dinner. And, thinking I was getting something else, I didn't plan ahead and pack a dinner.
We talk so much about the choices we make every day and the challenges that come alone with them. So what do we (you) do when we don't have the option to choose? Do we intentionally eat something we don't want to, and get back on track later? Or do we become really unreasonable about our commitment and find a way to get something else?
I had a very interesting discussion earlier this week in which someone challenged me to the idea that unreasonableness in our commitments (that is, the idea that we go beyond what we think we can do to stick with our commitments) is what ultimately makes us successful. So maybe I should have excused myself for 15 minutes to go hunt down a salad. But next time I'm in a situation like that, I will. And not because I'm afraid that 2 pieces of unplanned pizza will kill my goals. Because I am committed enough not to look for (and take) the easy way out, even when doing so will make me look completely neurotic.