Friday, December 19, 2008

In Which I Reflect Upon the Past Three Months

(Reflection. Get it?)

My Body Bugg web subscription expired today, which means its been three months since I started this, er, journey (?). It doesn't feel like it's been that long at all, but I thought I would take this post to reflect on the changes and progress I have made.

* I've lost 18 (or so-depending on which day you ask my stupid scale) pounds. I'm pretty far off my two pounds a week goal. Instead, I have been averaging about half a pound per week, sometimes a pound. It's not much, but its really sustainable at this rate, so I will just need to suck it up and be patient. I just watched the season finale of the Biggest Loser and compared to their 75, 80, 100 plus pounds lost, 18 looks and sounds pretty measly.Of course if I had the time and the resources to work out 4 hours a day with a trainer, I would probably be pretty smokin hot in 3 months, too. But alas, I have this whole JOB thing, and HOUSE thing and all the LAME responsibilities that come with it. Then I think that if I lose 75 pounds, I would be under 100 pounds and I'm pretty sure that would leave me looking pretty nasty (i.e. anorexic)
So I guess I will have to settle for 18 pounds. Whatever.

* I've been logging all of my calories consumed on a daily basis. I started off REALLY good at this and have since gotten a little lax, I will admit. But logging my food has really made me take a hard look at my day to day choices and I have been very consistent about making good food choices. This really just required a little tweaking for me, since I already ate pretty "clean" as they say in the world of fit blogging. I get lazy about logging in a bite of something or a cracker or a tootsie roll (I MUST get these out of my office!). I think this is due in part to the fact that logging my food takes a serious amount of time and it's not all that exciting. So I kind of half ass it. I am committed to being better at this going forward. Honestly. (Note: I have cut back on the boozing A LOT and now I just save it for one night per weekend. This, according to Andrew, makes me "no fun.")

* I've been incorporating exercize as part of my daily routine. Turns out, cleaning the house from top to bottom is the caloric equivalent of walking on the treadmill for an hour, and 20 minutes of the 30 Day Shred is the same as a 10 minute run. I have tried hard to keep my workouts interesting and incorporate a mix of strength traning and cardio. But lately, I've been overdoing the cardio becuase (I'll be honest) I'm a tad bit clueless when it comes to weight training on my own at the gym (I need you, Jillian Michaels!). BUUUUT, lucky for me, my chirporactor gave me a free personal traning session at our gym (thanks Dr. Shapiro, if you're reading!) so my revised plan is to meet with the tranier and get some new moves for the New Year! I'm guessing that this will be a return to my circuit training days of Spring, 2008.

*All my jeans fit comfortably. (With the exception of the official "skinny jeans"). In fact, the ratio of things too small for me to things too big for me is shifting as I write. I gave away my firts pair of "fat pants" over Thankgiving. This in and of itself is something to be eternally grateful for (and REALLY excited about!)

In conclusion:
* Today i renewed my Body Bugg subscription for another YEAR! My goal is that a year from now I won't need to renew again.

* Change is slow but oh-so WORTH IT!

* I do not need to be a slave to the gym to reach my goal weight, there are plenty of other activities that are just as effective and a lot less boring.

* If I love and respect my body, it will love and respect me back (a BIG apology to my liver for college, and to the rest of my organs for that whole puking for 7 years nonsense).

* Its okay to indulge every once in awhile. I won't gain 5 pounds from one stinking piece of cake (unless you ask the piece of shit scale that I have now, becuase he-yes its a HE-SUCKS!)

* Moderation, balance and satisfaction are all things to be enjoyed and celebrated.


Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Streak (?)

This morning I got up early AGAIN to work out! I only did the Shred (I've been on and off with this lately) but it was better than nothing. I've noticed that even when I do a short workout in the morning, I burn WAY more calories by the end of the day.

TWO DAYS IN A ROW!!!! I think this is the start of an awesome morning workout streak for me!
I'm told it takes 21 days to break or begin a new habit. WOO! 19 more days to go!
(And yes, I do realize how ridiculous I sound getting excited about 2 days in a row. Baby steps, people. Baby steps.)

But why I REALLY wanted to post was because I read an AWESOME post over at MizFit today on children and role models and respecting our bodies. It really raises an interesting issue. I left her a ridiculously long comment that resembles a therapeutic rant, but you don't have to read that part.

I really feel very strongly about this issue and I know that it was my mom's unhealthy relationship with food and non-existent relationship with exercise that played a major role in spawning my eating disorder. I mean, it its not her fault. I don't think she could have possibly known how it could have affected me years down the road. And even if it were her fault, she didn't force me to stick my fingers down my throat. (Someday I will write a post on how how weird it was for me to be totally cognizant of how ridiculous my eating disordered behaviors were. Sorry. Off topic.)
Anyhow, check it out. Let me know what you think. This is cheaper for me than therapy :-)

Monday, December 15, 2008

Oh the Irony..

Okay, so I have decided that I LOVE going to the gym first thing in the morning. I like it for several reasons:
1) hardly anyone is there = no wait for equipment
2) I've burned 1000 calories by the time I get in the shower at 8am
3) I have my WHOOOOLE night free (to cook dinner, do laundry, read my book, watch tv, bake cookies-whatever I fricken FEEL like, basically. Happy Hour, what?)
4) I have my whole MIND free (as in I don't spend the whole day dreading the gym and the things I hate about it and instead I can focus totally on blogs and gossip rags. and occasionally work.)
5) I feel basically awesome all day long (as long as I have a cup of coffee for my mid afternoon after-lunch slump)
6) No creepy TV watching guy (there is this guy at my gym-kinda old, always wears black sweatpants-and I've NEVER seen him work out. All he does is stand by the treadmills and ellipticals and watch TV. For HOURS. Its weird. And annoying. And when he's there, I get SO distracted on the treadmill thinking about why he never works out and why he doesn't just wacth tv at home....but I digress)

Great, right? With a list like that, I should have NO PROBLEM going to the gym in the morning.

I HATE getting up early and I HATE mornings.
But other than that, I'm totally sold on the morning gym visits.

We had a really low key weekend. I ran some errands, grocery shopped, read my book, had lunch with Andrew's was really nice. This week I have a million things to do: planning for our holiday party next weekend whilst trying to find our foster dog a new home, fix the leak in the roof, do 7 million loads of laundry, clean, bake cookies for my office-mates, and prep for our travel next week. (I yawned just WRITING all of that!) I'm in for a CRAZY week, I guess!

Here's our Christmas tree (we decorated last weekend):

Oh, and I'm still in a fight with the scale. I'm giving it the silent treatment.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Eff YOU, scale!


I feel like I am at war with this new scale. I can't decide if its my friend or foe. Andrew has been saying for the past week that it's off. He went to the doctor last week and said that he was heavier on the doctor's scale. For me, its not been as much about the numbers as it has been about the amount gained v. lost. But today I got on it and I am SIX POUNDS heavier? SIX POUNDS!?! In less than a week???? Actually, in like 3 days? I'm pretty much convinced this scale is either totally wrong or has some personal vendetta against me. There's just NO way I gained six pounds in three days (even with water weight, I only put on maybe 3)
I'm trying not to let it take over my day, but I'm seriously annoyed. I was cleaning last night and banged it around a little, could THAT make it get all messed up? UGH! either way, I'm not getting back on it for awhile. I need to cool off a bit. Because if it's STILL messed up the next time I get on it, its taking a nice trip out the flipping window (and no, I'm NOT kidding).

P.S. I LOOOVE oatmeal! Oh and I made this super tasty squash soup for dinner last night with both butternut AND acorn squash..and roasted garlic. MMMMMMM. I am such an awesome chef! I also spent 3.5 hours cleaning and doing laundry. Which makes me an awesome housekeeper as well! (okay maybe not. I really only spend that much cleaning about once a month).

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

My body officially HATES junk?!?!

<----- :-(

WTF?! This is no joke here, people. This is VERY serious. I promise that even though I have always wanted to be skinny, I have NEVER wanted to give up the tasty junky treats that have been the most steadfast contributors to my wobbly tummy pooch!
Yes, I gave them up willingly when I agreed to record all my food and count all my calories. But now, it would appear, that I can't have them at ALL! Even when I WANT THEM!
Examples: had french fries with cheese on Saturday. Promptly threw up. (not kidding)
Ate pancakes for breakfast at the neighborhood joint. Stomach ache (and other yucky stuff)ALL DAY LONG. Ate nothing else the rest of the day (except a latke).
Recently had 3 (yes, only THREE) glasses of wine at Holiday Party. Sick and hungover ALL the next day. Note: I have been drinking pretty regularly(i.e several times a week) for at least the past 10 years. Wow, I just re-read that and I sound like a total alcoholic. I'm not. Or if I am, so are all of my friends and everyone that ever went to my college.

I have pretty much stopped drinking as much booze (maybe once a week if that) and I have cut out all the crap food like fried stuff and sugary goodness as part of my attempts at healthy living. I take my vitamins, I work out, I drink plenty of water.

Is my body rebelling against junk since its been so ling since I've had it? Has it forgotten what to do with wine and french fries? I'm so confused. I want to be able to treat myself every once in awhile, but lately, it has NOT been worth it. I was a pretty decent eater before all of this. I cook a lot at home so I wasn't hitting the drive-thru every night, by any means. My "junk food" has always been things like cheese, beer, carbs and Bryers ice cream.
I guess this could be some kind of blessing in disguise, but it makes me a little sad. I mean, pancakes?!

In other news, I had the BEST run yesterday! It was fast and strong (EDIT: I AM FAST AND STRONG-Thanks, Miz!) and I felt GREAT!
Today I had a 3rd interview for a new job (more money! yay!). I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but I'm excited. I will keep you all (all 4 of you) updated on that if I find anything out.

AAAND I'm down 18 pounds and only a few more to go before Christmas!
Its only Tuesday but so far its been an awesome week!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

(Mostly) Totally Unrelated

Oh man I just LOOOOOVE this time of year! Last night, I caught Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (the original, with Burl Ives) on prime time TV. I was SOO excited because every year I miss it and have to rent it instead. But this year, I got to see it the way I did when I was a kid: broken up into 7 minute segments and stretched out over an hour, with butt loads of commercials in between. I sang along to all of the songs, I laughed out loud at Hermie (he's my favorite!), I was all alone on the couch... it was glorious! I think I already missed the Grinch, but I saw commericals for Frosty, so hopefully I'll be able to catch that one, too!
I am also obsessed with the 24 hour Christmas music station. The othe rnight I heard "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" for the first time this year. My grandma used to get offended when we sang it to her, but it always makes me laugh.
This weekend we are getting our tree and decorating! I can't wait to hang all of our stockings from the railing (we have one for each of us and our pets). Maybe I will go all out and bake some cookies too!

I got on the scale this morning for the first time in over a week. The good news is that I didn't gain any weight over Thanksgiving. The bad news is I didn't lose any either. I'm about 6 pounds off from my intended goal, according to my Body Bugg program. Its coming off VEEERRRRY slowly, but at least its coming off. Oh, and my body fat is down aobut 5% overall. Remember I was experimenting with taking that Milk Thistle that I read helps liver function? I've been taking it for about 8 weeks or so. I honestly don't think its had any major effects. I've dropped 16 pounds and 5% body fat, which I think is pretty average. I would expect that if the Milk Thistle was working, my body fat would be much lower, but who knows? Its not hurting anything and there aren't any negative side effects so I think I will keep taking it for a bit.
Only 3 more weeks till Christmas! Which means I need to get back on track to losing 2 pounds per week (I've been averaging about half a pound per week). I am determined to stay focused even though I'm all crazy and giddy with holiday excitement and parties and fun stuff!!
Now, if only we had some snow.... ;-)

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Nibbles and Bits

I googled "nibbles" and this is what came up. Totally irrelevant. Cute, though. ->

Around this time of year, I always develop an irrational fear of my scale. Ok, so I'm pretty much afraid of my scale almost every time of the year, but at this time, its WAY worse.
Most days, I have no idea what I'm eating. Ok, thats not true either. I do, in fact, recognize the food, I just have no idea how much of it I'm eating when I'm snacking or nibbling my way through work parties, happy hours, tree trimmings and other holiday foodstivities.
Since I've started using the Body Bugg, I've cut my snacking WAYYY down. A lot of that has to do with packing my lunches and coking my own dinners and PLANNING everything I'm going to eat in a day. But when there are little tins of candies and bowls of dips and delicious treats EVERYWHERE, it gets harder and harder to remember what exactly I've had. I got so far astray over Thanksgiving, that I just gave up on logging my food entirely.
I'm back on track this week and I feel pretty good about not having completely blown my eating and exercise goals (I did get in one looooong run before dinner on Thanksgiving and I only ate one dessert the entire weekend), but I couldn't POSSIBLY tell you how much delicious Brueggers cream cheese I had for breakfast or how many gallons of gin and tonic I drank at my high school reunion, or how many potato chips and french onion dip I nibbled (seriously, who invented that combination?! its like a hart attack with a side of angioplasty! and why is it so flipping GOOD?!) after my niece's baptism.
My new goal is 6 pounds by Christmas. It was really encouraging being home and having people tell me that I looked good. But I still have a lot of work to do.
Looks like I'll be spending many romantic evenings with Jillian Michaels and the treadmil. At least after this weekend, I'll have a Christmas tree to keep me company!